10 Things Men Should Know About Dating Single Mothers
You’ve recently met a great woman. She’s intelligent, beautiful, articulate, educated, and there is such great chemistry between you.
After several dates, you can’t get enough of her. Then, during a conversation, she reveals that she has children.
Although you like kids and really want to develop a relationship, you have your own concerns. You wonder if you’re taking on too many responsibilities at once.
You’d like the relationship to continue, but you’re not sure what you’re getting yourself into.
The relationships that you’ve had in the past, they’ve had complexities of their own. Adding a child to the equation complicates things, but it can also be tremendously rewarding.
How so?
In this article, we’ll take a look at advice men and woman have for men when dating single mothers.
1. Single Mothers Are Different
Dating and establishing a relationship with anyone requires time and effort. Guys who are dating single mothers need to understand that these women aren’t “just another gal,” as pointed out in a HuffingtonPost.com article which highlighted the changes women experience after they have children.
Their bodies, minds, and hearts have significantly adjusted as their lives are now interwoven with the well-being and daily survival of their children.
2. Yes, You Like Kids, But You’re not a Father
Most guys will say that they like kids. We all enjoy periodically playing with children. However, not everyone likes the work that goes into caring and raising children.
The age of her children will play a huge factor in the relationship. Find out what her life as a parent is like.
Even if you do like children, you don’t know her children and more importantly her views on parenting.
Your styles of caring for children my be completely different. Observe her and her method of parenting.
3. Don’t Expect a Typical Relationship
Her children will always be a priority. This doesn’t mean that she will intentionally neglect you, but all of her decisions and actions are based on the lives of her kids.
Single mothers value time. There will be instances where you can’t be affectionate or as spontaneous as you would like.
If you’re considering a relationship with a single mother, be mindful that if she is taking the time to see you, she’s definitely interested and believes you’re important.
4. She’s Loyal
The chances are, that if you’re dating an independent single mother, she’s loyal. These women have had to single-handedly raise and care for her child.
She’s developed an intimate relationship with her child and if a single mother allows you into her life, she’s willing to extend that love to you as well.
5. Flexibility is Key
Kids get sick, they get hurt, they have bad days and babysitters cancel. Having kids makes life even more unpredictable than it already is.
There will be plenty of instances where you’re going to have to have an open mind and be flexible.
Again remember, children will always be a mother’s priority. Even when the two of you have plans, you’ll have to cancel and adjust.
6. Be Supportive
You’re going to have to be supportive. There may be some issues with her ex that she is still trying to work out or there may still be some emotional baggage from her previous relationship.
Don’t contact the ex or get involved in ongoing custody battles.
Guys should be supportive and also encourage but do more listening than trying to solve every problem for her.
7. You’ll Meet Her Kids When She’s Ready
When you’ve finally met her children — that’s a big step in the relationship. Many mothers want to wait until they’re in a committed relationship before they introduce their kids.
If you don’t meet the kids right away, don’t get offended. She’ll likely want to protect the children from the disappointment of getting close to a potential father figure who is “here today and gone tomorrow”.
8. Less Drama
If you meet a single mother who is prepared for a relationship, she’ll go out of her way to be drama free.
It’s simple single moms don’t have time for drama. They have been through a lot and don’t have time to sweat the small stuff.
“We’re mature and real, and lord knows we don’t have time to throw our own temper tantrums when we’ve got kids doing it for us.”
-Kate Anthony, 5 Reasons You Should Date a Single Mom, The Huffington Post
She’s also not looking to play relationship games.
9. Don’t Waste Her Time
Seen Jerry McGwire? What was Cuba Gooding’s Jr’s memorable line?
“Single mother’s don’t date.”
He may have been exaggerating but he was making a point.
A single mother is looking for someone who she can establish a relationship with. This means that she isn’t looking for a player or someone who isn’t serious.
She has enough problems, she doesn’t need any drama from you.
10. Don’t Expect Another Child
Although you see a future with her, you have to be considerate of her needs. After giving birth and raising a child, a single mom may not want to have that experience again.
It’s something you need to discuss. Don’t assume that if you have a relationship with her, she wants more children.
The decision to have another child may be dependent on the man she’s with.
Conclusion
Establishing and maintaining a relationship with a single mother is tremendously beneficial. Unlike regular relationships, you’ll have to exercise more patience and understanding.
If you find the right woman, it will be worth it.
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