Stop Comparing Your Child to Other Children!

December 5, 2012

Comparing our children to other children is an easy trap to fall into. But it is not healthy for our children or for us as parents because every child is different.

Is Anna rolling over yet? When did David start walking? My child knows all her colors and the whole alphabet and she's only two. Does your son play organized sports? What did your daughter get on her SAT test? My son and daughter in law have been married five years and still no children.

Every day presents the opportunity to make such comparisons, and it obviously does not stop when your children have grown up. These comparisons serve no positive purpose. If you are noticing your child seems to be lagging in some skill or development you feel tense and possibly guilty that you are not parenting as well as you could.

Conversely, by seeing that your child is particularly advanced in some developmental area, and by mentioning it to another parent, you can cause anxiety in others.

There is not one of us with grown children who can't look back and feel a little embarrassed by the worrying that we did. How about your son, the late talker, who just finished law school. Or your tween who was the smallest child in the class, who now enjoys star status on the baseball team because of her stature.

Just remember…

  • Every child has their own interests
  • Every child has their own skills
  • Every child has their own personality
  • Every child develops at their own pace

Let your children grow and develop without stress... avoid the comparison game!